My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
