I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
