Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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