Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
