Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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