I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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