I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
