Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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