she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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