I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
