Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
