there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just pee around me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
