I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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