Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
