It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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