Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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