Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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