wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
