:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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