My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
