I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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