I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Randomize
