guys are not supposed to queef...right?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
