I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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