i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
