I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Who wears a wallet chain?!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
