dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
