i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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