i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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