nut hugger
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
