They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
