Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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