My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
