When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
