hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
