I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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