to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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