She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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