I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
