Will you blow on my dice?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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