Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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