he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
