On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
