just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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