Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
its liver damage thursday
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
