I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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