it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
