she was so not down for the gang bang
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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