belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
