I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
