It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I still have a little drunk in my system
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
